Hookers Boycott Repubs’ Convention

A representative for Hookers With Hearts, a Cleveland area sex workers trade group, has confirmed that local p3642043105_9eeec40978_zrostitutes will boycott the Republican National Convention this summer to protest the loose morals of the GOP and their presidential nominee, Donald Trump.

Spokeswoman Angela Perrell explained how her group reached the decision to boycott.

“We will not support a party that doesn’t respect women. We may be hookers but we have our standards.  This was a difficult decision for us. Republicans are kinky but they start fast and don’t last and that’s darn good for business.”

As word of the boycott has spread, many republican primary delegates have reconsidered their commitment to attend the convention. One delegate who declined to give his name took the news hard.

“Crap!  The whole point of going to Cleveland was for the hookers! I mean, it’s Cleveland! Besides, it’s not like I’m getting any at home. The day my wife found out I have no respect for women was the day the poontang dried the hell up! That’s it, I’m re-registering as a democrat! You know they’ll have hookers at their convention!”

In Philadelphia, a press release from local escort service, The Liberty Belles, was bullish on the prospects for business at the upcoming Democratic Convention.

“We encourage all Cleveland sex workers to come to Philadelphia. With democrats excited about a general election sweep, there will be plenty of work here for everyone, including male prostitutes. After all democrats are, well, democratic. God bless America!”