Donald Trump and Rick Perry appeared before members of the press today to deny rumors that Trump has hired his former rival as his ventriloquist’s dummy. Their argument was undercut by the fact that Trump stood with his hand in Perry’s back as Perry appeared to answer questions while Trump nodded and smiled, his lips barely moving. Asked who was doing the actual talking, Perry insisted it was him, not Trump.
“I’m nobody’s puppet, even if that nobody is a tremendously successful businessman who is going to make America so great and so beautiful, you won’t believe. In other words, I’m behind Donald Trump because Donald Trump is behind me. Right, Mr. Trump?”
“Hey, Mr. Trump.”
“How can you tell when a politician is lying?
“I don’t know, Ricky, how?”
“My lips are moving!”
“Funny, Ricky. Now say goodbye to the nice press people. It’s time to go into the cabinet.”
“Oh boy! I’m going to be in the Cabinet!”
“No you’re not.”