Jan Brewer Sues to End Black Privilege

Actual Photo of Jan Brewer Bravely Ignoring Books

In a landmark legal case with potentially wide-reaching ramifications, former Arizona governor Jan Brewer is suing the federal government to end what she describes as “black privilege.” Brewer filed her case  with the U.S. District Court in Phoenix, where she spoke to reporters.

“My civil rights will no longer be trampled by the U.S. government. It’s past time the rest of us have the same opportunities African Americans have enjoyed throughout history. I’m talking about free trips across the Atlantic Ocean, rewarding careers on genteel southern estates, designated seats on public transportation and more of their own restaurants, bathrooms and drinking fountains than anyone could possibly want. America should not be a place where only black people are afforded this kind of preferential treatment.”

Responding to criticism that she is shamelessly abusing the court system to win rights she already has at the expense of an historically oppressed group, Brewer raised the specter of reverse discrimination.

“You wouldn’t say that if I were a poor black woman in Cleveland raising three kids alone after my husband was shot for leaving the scene of a basketball game. Am I the only one who sees the irony here?”