Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed into law the strictest voter I.D. law in the history of laws. The
aptly named Voting Whites Act will require voters to show proof of membership in any of Texas’ three hundred and eleven exclusively white, male country clubs.
Minorities and women across the state immediately branded the law as discriminatory, but Governor Abbott appeared confident the law would stand.
“I have no doubt this law will pass constitutional muster. Because of the broad scope of the Voting Whites Act, which includes all wealthy white men, it cannot be argued that this law is discriminatory. On the contrary, the Voting Whites Act includes wealthy white men of all colors, from extremely pale to mildly tanned. Also, I’m no judge but I happen to know that almost all Texas judges are eligible to vote under this law, if you get my meaning.”
The Governor pointed to voter fraud as the chief argument for implementing the new law.
“In the last election we had over one alleged report of possible voter fraud, which may or may not have been perpetrated by Demo- uh, bla- uh, Mexi- uh, women. That’s not to say all Demo- uh, bla- uh, Mexi- uh, women are all bad. They’re not all bad, just the ones who vote.”