Poll: Even Dead People Hate Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel

Actual Photo of Chicago Voters

An ABC News/Chicago Sun Times poll out today estimates an astonishing 14 out of 10 likely Chicago voters believe Mayor Rahm Emanuel sucks at his job. Aware that some may take issue with the fact that the poll appears to overstate the number of voters in Chicago, the Sun Times released a statement explaining the discrepancy.

“The dead people of Chicago always turn out in high numbers, so they were included in this poll. It makes sense to take the temperature of this traditionally under-polled segment of the electorate.”

The Mayor’s office released a statement that attempted to put a positive spin on the poll results.

“Taken in context, these poll numbers don’t look bad for the Mayor. Last month, 19 out of 10 voters thought the mayor sucked. We’re definitely making progress. Unfortunately, once a deceased person makes up their mind, it’s hard to get them to change it. Still, many of the mayor’s best friends are dead. Maybe they weren’t home when pollsters called.”

The poll paints a grim picture for the embattled mayor’s prospects for re-election. Emanuel faces criticism for his response to the racially charged controversy surrounding the Chicago police shooting of 17 year-old Laquan McDonald.

A closer look at polling numbers suggests Emanuel fares worst with dead African American voters, a group that has grown in recent years, largely due to the efforts of the Chicago Police Department.