Clint Eastwood Chair Files for Bankruptcy, Blames Clint Eastwood

Actual Photo of Homeless Joe Biden

The chair Clint Eastwood used as a stand-in for President Obama in a speech at the 2012 Republican National Convention has filed for bankruptcy. In an interview with thefloydspin’s Home Furnishings Bureau, the chair, which is now homeless, cited unpaid psychiatric bills.

“Yeah, after three years of therapy I’m tapped. It’s not fair. I didn’t ask for any of this. I was minding my own business, hanging out by the stage when out of nowhere, Clint Eastwood grabbed me. I thought he needed a place to sit, which is something I am really good at, but the next thing I know I’m not holding up Clint Eastwood’s ass, I’m Barack freaking Obama, President of the United States!”

The chair described the helplessness it felt during Eastwood’s speech.

“All I could do was sit there while he went on and on like I was the president. And the next thing I knew, I was the president. Say what you want about his politics but I’ll tell you one thing: that Clint Eastwood is a helluva actor.”

When the stress of being leader of the free world became too much to bear, the chair sought professional help, with mixed results.

“Three years and $80,000 dollars later and my shrink says I’ve made some progress. Now I’m Joe Biden. Boy, do I wish I was president! There, you see? I told you I was Joe Biden.”