Mexico to Build Wall

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Actual Photo of the Wall, Screening Applicants

Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto today unveiled his country’s plan for a wall along the Mexican border with the United States. President Nieto insisted the wall would improve the lives of Mexicans while sending a clear message to the U.S. about their Republican presidential candidate.

“‘F**k Trump!’ That is the name we have chosen for our big, beautiful wall. That alone is reason enough to have this wall, but it is not the only reason. Now that the flow of undocumented Mexicans to the Unite States is zero, we must stop the flow of gringos into our country. Too many college students who drink tequila and show their tetas. Too many turistas who think Spanish is just loud English. Too many Hawaiian shirts! Why must all drunk, loud, fat gringos wear Hawaiian shirts?”

President Nieto assured his countrymen that funding for the wall would be no problema.

“Our wall will cost us nothing because Mr. Trump will build it for us, and when he says we must pay for it, we will declare bankruptcy and use eminent domain to take what is his and make it ours. Mr. Trump thinks Mexico is full of criminals and rapists, but he forgets one thing. We also have lawyers.”