Trump Uses Eminent Domain to Attack Kids’ Lemonade Stand

Actual Photo of Charlie and Travis Entrepreneuring

Donald Trump hit a new low today when he filed a petition in a New York court to use eminent domain against two kids. After erecting a lemonade stand on the sidewalk in front of New York City’s Washington Square Park to raise money for his struggling campaign, Trump found himself competing with another lemonade stand, this one run by 6 year-old Charlie Spencer and his 5 year-old brother, Travis. The hardball legal strategy Trump deployed to put Charlie and Travis out of business typifies the missteps that have recently plagued the presumptive Republican nominee. A reporter for thefloydspin obtained a copy of Trump’s petition.

“Whereas it is in the Public Interest for Donald J. Trump to mount a well-funded campaign and ultimately Make America Great Again, Donald J. Trump hereby petitions the court to bulldoze the lemonade stand owned by Charlie Spencer and Travis Spencer and toss these two snotty-nosed losers into the gutter.”

Moments after filing his petition before New York Circuit Court Judge Emilio Juarez, Trump demanded Juarez be removed from the case.

“I don’t have any problem with Judge Juarez except that I read somewhere that he likes kids. This case requires a judge who hates kids. Does Judge Juarez hate kids? Who knows? Maybe he does, but I can’t afford to take that chance. Furthermore, he is a Mexican.”

Trump’s legal argument was undercut when a New York City police officer bought lemonade from both stands.

“The kids’ lemonade was sweet with just the right amount of tartness. Trump’s tasted like lies, broken promises and warm horse piss.”