The long awaited report from The House Benghazi Committee will be followed tomorrow by another, equally anticipated report from the Benghazi Committee Committee. A leaked copy of the Benghazi Committee Committee’s report made its way into the hands of a reporter from thefloydspin’s Washington Bureau when she was digging for a chocolate éclair rumored to be in the dumpster behind the Capitol Building. Listed below are a few of the disturbing findings certain to drastically alter the American political landscape.
- During the Benghazi Committee investigation of Benghazi, Democratic committee members refused to respond to questions from Republican committee committee members about why they refused to respond to questions from Republican Committee members about what to order for lunch.
- All of the subpoenas issued by the Benghazi Committee Committee to members of the Benghazi Committee were lost when members of both committees forgot they were members of both committees.
- The Benghazi Committee’s surprise discovery that Benghazi is, in fact, in South Dakota, is based on exhaustive research undertaken by a team of the nation’s best cartographers funded with buckets of taxpayers’ dollars and provided with unlimited access to Google Earth.
- Several committee (and presumably committee committee) members suspect other committee members of being members of the Benghazi Committee Committee Committee, a super-secret committee composed of members of the Benghazi Committee and the Benghazi Committee Committee and tasked with investigating the Benghazi Committee Committee’s investigation of the Benghazi Committee’s investigation of Benghazi.
- Hillary Clinton.
Benghazi Committee Committee chairman Trey Gowdy had little to say about the leaked report, but he did inadvertently hint at the source of the leak.
“Has anybody seen the rest of my chocolate éclair?”