Al Qaeda Issues ISIS Travel Warning

Actual Photo of ISIS Suicide Fish

In a move seen as an admission of it’s waning influence in the Middle East, Al Qaeda has warned its suicide bombers not to blow themselves up in territory controlled by ISIS. The warning, which was posted on Al Qaeda’s Facebook page alongside a photo of a kitten wearing a suicide vest, depicts ISIS as uncivilized, bloodthirsty and ill-mannered.

“To all our jihadists wishing to travel to the ISIS caliphate for their holiday detonation, we recommend another path. Why not blow yourself up in Qatar or Yemen or any country where a suicide bombing is a scary thing? These ISIS show-offs blow themselves up just for the blowing up. A suicide bombing in their caliphate is without meaning and will be rewarded in heaven by no more than twelve or thirteen very plain virgins. Also, everybody knows their caliphate smells like dead fish.”

ISIS’ reply in the post’s comments section sought to ridicule Al Qaeda.

“You are so very much not scaring us! LOAO! Because you are weak infidel posers we will not beheading 😉 to your caliphate either. Oh that is right, you have no caliphate! HAHAHA!!!  P.S. ♥ the kitty cat! So cute!!!!”

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