Bill O’Reilly Sexually Harasses Gretchen Carlson’s Sexual Harassment Lawsuit

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Actual Photo a Fox News Audition

Fox News Host Bill O’Reilly devoted the opening segment of The O’Reilly Factor last night to a spirited attack of Gretchen Carlson’s sexual harassment lawsuit against Fox News executive Roger Ailes. O’Reilly said the lawsuit isn’t a good fit for his former colleague.

“Gretchen Carlson doesn’t look good in a lawsuit. With those legs she should stick to skirts. On second thought, if the lawsuit was low cut and showed some thigh, that wouldn’t be so bad. I’d be happy with a fishnet lawsuit, too. That’s a lawsuit I’d rub up against in the hallway.”

Appearing flushed and out of breath, O’Reilly eagerly offered up an alternate legal strategy for Carlson.

“Gretchen should be suing Megyn Kelly, not Roger Ailes. Gretchen has a far nicer rack than Megyn, yet Megyn gets all the good gigs. Why is that? Who is Megyn Kelly sleeping with? Why isn’t Gretchen sleeping with whoever it is Megyn is sleeping with? Why aren’t Megyn and Gretchen sleeping with each other? Think about that the next time you’re holed up at the Reno Days Inn with a fifth of Jack Daniels, a box of See’s candy and a copy of my autobiography, Bill O’Reilly, Slapping the Pinhead. Trust me when I tell you there are worse ways to spend thirty seconds.”

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