Wayne LaPierre: Only Defense Against a Bad Guy With a Gun is a Good Guy with a Bazooka


Actual Photo of a Seven Eleven Shopper

Wayne LaPierre doubled down today on the NRA’s position that the solution to America’s problem with guns is guns. Speaking to reporters from inside a silencer designed to muffle the sound of reasoned discourse, Lapierre pointed out that the NRA stands for the second amendment right of every American to shoot somebody.

“The NRA believes that ninety percent of Americans are law-abiding citizens who can be trusted to do the right thing as long as they’re properly armed. It’s the other twenty-five percent who are ruining it for the rest of us. That’s why the NRA is getting behind legislation that will make it legal for Americans to own bazookas for hunting, for self-defense and for blowing shit seriously up.”

LaPierre described how an encounter with a bad guy with a gun would go in his version of America.

“Let’s say a bad guy with a gun tries to rob your local Seven Eleven. He can’t! There are five good guys armed with TA850 bazookas who came in to buy a pack of cigarettes and a box of condoms. If that bad guy even thinks about pulling his gun he’s going to end up a Rorschach test on what’s left of the wall that used to be behind the counter. ‘You wanna know what I see, doc? The goddamn Constitution, that’s what!'”

Asked if a bazooka armed citizenry might result in an even more violent America, LaPierre  was chillingly candid.



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