Power Drunk Trump Orders Aircraft Carrier into the Gulf of Mexico

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Actual Photo of The U.S.S. Midway Not Going Anywhere

Donald Trump is feeling his oats. Fresh off his nomination in Cleveland last night, the Republic standard bearer ordered the U.S.S. Midway into the Gulf of Mexico, presumably to protect the United States’ vital interests in the region. A noticeably power drunk Trump butt dialed thefloydspin’s help desk to outline his naval strategy.

“Hello! Hello! I, Donald J. Trump -the ‘J’ stands for strong leader –  hereby declare war on Mexico and parts of Louisiana. I hear from a lot of people I’m a brilliant naval strategist so this should go pretty terrifficly. Mexico and parts of Louisiana will surrender, I’ll declare victory, sell parts of Louisiana back to the Italians, turn Mexico into a giant theme business park and declare bankruptcy. Double win win win!

Caught up in the excitement of winning, Trump may not have noticed that the U.S.S. Midway was decommissioned in 1992, Louisiana was purchased from the French and the Navy takes its orders from the President.

“You’re next, Montana!”

Trump later tweeted his post-convention plans.

“Donald Trump, you just won the Republican nomination and defeated Mexico and parts of Louisiana! Where are you going now? Trumpexico!”

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