Trump Buys Gold Star, Declares Victory over Khan Family

25475785460_6a2092ab31_z (1)
Actual Photo of America’s Newest Gold Star Family

Donald Trump today declared an end to his feud with Khizr Khan and his wife Ghazala when he appeared before the press proudly displaying a two pound, solid gold star riveted to his jacket lapel. Trump boasted that the star, which was emblazoned with a capital “T”, was proof that he has sacrificed.

“Look at this thing, it must be worth it’s weight in gold! Take that Khans! Now that I’m a Gold Star family I can say whatever I want about other Gold Star families. It’s like the only thing that can cut a diamond is a diamond, only better because it’s gold! Now I guess the press and veterans groups and John McCain and my smoking hot wife will get off my back. Let me tell you winning sure feels good, much better than sacrificing. And I have sacrificed. I sacrificed like ten grand for this baby! Don’t worry, if I ever release my tax returns you’ll see this is big time deductible.”

When more than one reporter pointed out the irony of the “Made in China” sticker on Trump’s star, the candidate got upset.

“You have no right to viciously attack me! Can’t you see I’m a Gold Star family? Have you at long last no sense of decency?”

One thought on “Trump Buys Gold Star, Declares Victory over Khan Family

  1. Howdy Floyd!

    It’s clear that Trump doesn’t really get what a fire marshal does, doesn’t know what has happened in Ukraine and Crimea, so it isn’t much a stretch that he really wouldn’t get what makes a family a gold star family.

    Huzzah!
    Jack

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s