Trump Buys Gold Star, Declares Victory over Khan Family

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Actual Photo of America’s Newest Gold Star Family

Donald Trump today declared an end to his feud with Khizr Khan and his wife Ghazala when he appeared before the press proudly displaying a two pound, solid gold star riveted to his jacket lapel. Trump boasted that the star, which was emblazoned with a capital “T”, was proof that he has sacrificed.

“Look at this thing, it must be worth it’s weight in gold! Take that Khans! Now that I’m a Gold Star family I can say whatever I want about other Gold Star families. It’s like the only thing that can cut a diamond is a diamond, only better because it’s gold! Now I guess the press and veterans groups and John McCain and my smoking hot wife will get off my back. Let me tell you winning sure feels good, much better than sacrificing. And I have sacrificed. I sacrificed like ten grand for this baby! Don’t worry, if I ever release my tax returns you’ll see this is big time deductible.”

When more than one reporter pointed out the irony of the “Made in China” sticker on Trump’s star, the candidate got upset.

“You have no right to viciously attack me! Can’t you see I’m a Gold Star family? Have you at long last no sense of decency?”

One thought on “Trump Buys Gold Star, Declares Victory over Khan Family

  1. Howdy Floyd!

    It’s clear that Trump doesn’t really get what a fire marshal does, doesn’t know what has happened in Ukraine and Crimea, so it isn’t much a stretch that he really wouldn’t get what makes a family a gold star family.


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