Trump Gets Stopped at the Border

Actual Photo of Trump’s New Ride

Donald Trump just got a lesson in border security. The presidential candidate’s hastily planned trip into Mexico hit a snag today when Mexican officials ordered Trump’s jet to turn back before landing in their country, where Trump is considered an extremely undesirable alien. Desperate to make it to his meeting with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, Trump hired a coyote to drive him across the border and into Tijuana in the trunk of a 1966 Plymouth Valiant. When Trump made it through without incident, he took to Twitter to brag.

“Told you so! Mexican border weak weak WEAK! TIME FOR A BIG BEAUTIFUL WALL!!!”

But Mr. Trump may have tweeted too soon. After his meeting, Trump climbed back into the trunk with the expectation that he would be whisked back into the U.S. without so much as an “adios amigo,” but when the U.S. Border Patrol stopped the car and ordered the trunk opened, the jig was up. Agent Harvey Pelt told thefloydspin what happened next.

“I asked him what business he had in the United States. He said he was going to make America great again, which seemed a little short on specifics, so I asked him how he plans to do that. He sputtered something about illegal aliens and a humane approach and taking our country back. The guy was all over the board. That old Plymouth must have an exhaust leak, if you know what I mean. Anyhow, he is technically a U.S. citizen so I had to let him through. But I’ll tell you this, every day I turn back people who think America is already pretty great and, believe me, they know exactly why they want to come to the United States.”

Having survived his “bordeal”, Trump made a quick stop at a Taco Bell where he demonstrated his newfound appreciation for Mexican culture by ordering french fries.

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