Appearing on Fox and Friends this morning, Donald Trump achieved an historic first when he spun reality so hard that a completely new dimension appeared in front of millions of T.V. viewers. In an interview with thefloydspin, Caltech physicist Dr. Abigail Parks struggled to explain what happened when Trump said who he thought won last night’s debate.
“We’ve never seen anything like this. The second he said ‘I won’ our instruments picked up a massive spike in quasi-beta-mega-mesa-boson-quarky- neutrino-schmeutrino particles. Somehow, Mr. Trump created a hole in space-time just by opening his mouth. The power required to do that in a particle accelerator would probably kick a breaker, if particle accelerators had breakers. You know, that’s not a bad idea. Maybe particle accelerators should have circuit breakers.”
Trump’s new reality has scientists pondering its implications for a variety of practical applications.
“If we an can repeat this phenomenon, we might be able to travel to other galaxies, go back in time, create ‘Trumped-Up Realities’ in which an infinite number of possibilities occur. We’re talking purple bananas, peanut butter that tastes like jelly, flying worms, cheap Starbuck’s, uncomplicated sex, teenagers cleaning their rooms, you name it. But it all starts with Donald Trump. If Hillary trounces him again in the next debate and he rolls out another whopper like he did today, game on!”