Trump’s Town Hall of Mirrors

Actual Photo of Trump and Three Nervous Guys Security Missed

Donald Trump is ready to rumble. Trump tuned up yesterday for Sunday’s town hall with Hillary Clinton by taking questions from New Hampshire voters intent on making the candidate say words and make faces. The transcript of the event offers an intriguing peek inside Trumplandia.

Q: Mr. Trump, when you win, how fast will you clean up Washington?

A: I’m glad you asked me that.

Q: President Trump, my question is a three-parter. First, without revealing your secret plan to defeat ISIS, what’s your favorite female body part and I love you!

A: Let me take your questions in order. The bosom.

Q: Lord Trump, when Barack Insane Nobama imposed sharia law, did that bug you as much as when Crooked Hillary bombed Pearl Harbor?

A: That’s a tough one! I’ll just say Alicia Machado looks like she ate Rosie O’Donnell and leave it at that.

Q: Exalted Lord President Trump, when you say “leave it at that” are you saying you don’t want to run an insult driven campaign of insults like Fat Crooked Fat Hillary is doing?

A: Yes. I think voters want to hear about important issues, which is why I’m tweeting right now about how great I’m winning this debate. I think we have time for one more pre-screened question, preferably from someone with an above average bosom.

Q: Exalted Lord President Genius Trump, will you marry me?

A: Because I care so much about people and women, I’m going to make a personal connection with you by answering your question with my own question about what matters most to you. Are those real?

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