The Donald Trump Apology Tour

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Actual Photo of a Serial Apologizer

Get ready, ladies, the Donald Trump apology tour is headed your way. In an exclusive interview with thefloydspin today, the embattled candidate confirmed that after a day and a half spent groping for answers in the wake of the release of taped comments he made about women in 2005, he has concluded he must personally apologize to each and every woman in America, starting Monday morning and continuing through the 3o days remaining in the campaign.

“I made a mistake but I’m a better, you know, and I’ll be travelling everywhere and much much apologizing, first to the 8’s, the so called plain, which, eye of the beholder, I say practically beautiful and next I’ll very slowly, very gently, work my way down to the horrible, the 6’s, the 5’s the disgusting, but very sincere because I’m a changed, you know, and then I’ll apologize two or three times to the beautiful and the very beautiful the, your 9’s and 10’s at which point, a lot of apologizing and a lot of Tic Tacs, a very very Tic Tac intensive situation.”

Thefloydspin asked Trump if there are any women who may not accept his apology.

“Boy are you missing the point!”

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