Ghosts of Nixon Reagan and Bush Dump Trump

Actual Photo of Nixon’s Ghost

The ghosts of Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush have had it with Donald Trump. Speaking to thefloydspin through a medium this morning, all three took pains to distance themselves from the republican nominee.

Nixon: I gave that son of a bitch my wise counsel and what happened? The bastard got caught on tape! If I weren’t dead, this would frost my Dick Nixon! And I’m not the only one who’s pissed. I hear Reagan’s gone ballistic. Of course, with our vastly different zip codes, Mr. Sunny Side Up and I don’t talk much. Long distance rates are hell down here!

Reagan: Uh, hello? I’m here. Can you hear me? Hello? Well, I must say Donald was okay while he was beating up on the gays. But now…

Bush: I’m not dead! Why does everybody think I’m – wait, am I? Oh my God, I can’t feel my eyes!

Nixon: Shut up, before I sick Ehrlichman on you! Listen hard because I’m only going to say this once. I’m with Hillary. Sure, she’s not perfect. She’s only two-faced, she needs more enemies and she’s a crappy liar, but she’s a smart cookie and she craves power. Do you hear me, power! POWER POWER POWER!!! Nothing wrong with that!

Reagan: Well, she does believe in America’s future and she-

Bush: Merica.

Reagan: Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this-

Nixon: Shut up!

Bush: I can’t feel my lips.

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