Miss Piggy Accuses Trump of Sexual Misconduct

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Actual Photo of the Most Irresistible Bacon Alive

Miss Piggy has joined the growing list of those who have accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct. Speaking to thefloydspin from her home in Beverly Hills, the TV star and cultural icon didn’t seem bothered by what she characterized as Mr. Trump’s clumsy advances.

“Oh, poor poor Donnie. Of course he burns with desire when confronted with the hypnotic allure of a real pig. Men and frogs lose all control when they find themselves face to snout with moi. And that is why it didn’t surprise me when Donnie invited me to his apartment in Trump Tower last week to discuss certain comments he made about Miss Universe. Yes, he tried to taste the bacon. Who wouldn’t?”

As Miss Piggy tells it, Trump’s behavior left her with no choice.

“He forced my hoof. I like a good roll in the mud as much as the next pig but when he came at me with lust in his eyes and Tic Tacs on his breath I did what any lady of taste and refinement would do – I karate chopped him in the nuts. HIIIYAAA! Needless to say, his swelling relocated.”

Asked to comment on this story, a Trump campaign spokesman threatened to take thefloydspin furniture shopping.

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