ISIS Opens New Theme Park

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Actual Photo of an ISIS Theme Park Fast Pass

ISIS is diversifying. Hobbled by mounting losses on the battlefield, the terrorist organization took to Facebook today to announce the opening of The ISIS Experience, a new theme park billed as a “dude ranch for terrorists.” And, in a sign of their growing business acumen, ISIS touted their partnership with the National Rifle Association, which will handle the park’s gun and ammo concession.

“It is a day filled with joy for our loyal fanatics as we declare the grand opening of The ISIS Experience, where we combine the pig-fun of the Transformers 3D ride at decadent American Universal Studios and the sacred thrill of setting off an improvised exploding device under the Transformers 3D ride at decadent American Universal Studios. Also join us as we fire our weapons into the air for our new infidel friends at the Association of the National Rifles. We may not agree on everything but we do find common killing ground on killing!”

NRA spokesman Wayne LaPierre told thefloydspin his group looks forward to working with ISIS.

“They’re not a bad bunch of guys, once you get to know them. Much like the NRA, ISIS supports the 2nd amendment right of everyone to get shot. Hey, you don’t get any more American than that!”

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