FBI Director Investigates FBI Director

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Actual Photo of James Comey Savoring an Interlocked Finger Moment

FBI Director James Comey announced this morning he will personally lead an investigation to root out the FBI informant who told Congress the Clinton email case has been reopened. Then, just minutes later, Comey declared the investigation closed after it revealed Comey himself is the informant. Comey spoke to thefloydspin from inside the trunk of a 2005 Chrysler Sebring illegally parked in a handicapped spot at an undisclosed D.C. area parking garage.

“I’m shocked to learn the head of the FBI commented publicly on an ongoing investigation, especially right before an election. But the evidence clearly points to me spilling the beans. And to make matters worse, it looks like there’s a pattern of wrongdoing here. I pulled this same stunt back in July when I went public with details about this same investigation. Why did I do that? I won’t pretend to know what goes on inside the head of me. On the bright side, the 2005 Sebring has a surprisingly roomy trunk!”

When thefloydspin asked Comey for details of the current Clinton investigation, he was unwilling to speak on the record.

“I really can’t comment. But if I wanted to meddle with the election I’d probably email you a copy of my notes on the investigation. But that would be highly irregular and downright un-American, so I definitely won’t do that. Check your inbox.”

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