Donald Trump thinks it’s better to give than receive. A senior source inside Trumpsition reports that when the President elect takes office, he will tweak the presidential daily intelligence briefings to better fit his style. Beginning on day one of his presidency, Trump will flip the script by briefing the heads of the FBI, the CIA and the NSA to make sure they’ve been briefed on everything he wants them to brief him on after he’s done briefing them. The source told thefloydspin President Trump will be all about efficiency.
“America can rest easy knowing Beloved Leader elect has figured out the fastest way to get the critical intelligence he wants while avoiding the clutter of data, facts and complicated assessments. For example, let’s say the intelligence community has hard evidence Vladimir Putin interfered with the election. Who cares? But what if Wise Leader elect briefs the CIA with intelligence that proves Vladimir Putin is a nice guy who is kind to children and likes cat videos and long walks on the beach? That’s the kind of thing the CIA needs to know. Otherwise, how can they be expected to repeat it back to Benevolent Leader elect?”
Thefloydspin’s attempt to reach out to the intelligence community for comment was met with silence – with one puzzling exception. FBI Director James Comey had this to say:
“I’ve just been briefed by Exceptional Leader elect Trump that Hillary Clinton’s private email server contains secret plans to blow up give Texas to Canada for Christmas, replace all regular spoons with soup spoons and abolish gravity. Thank God she lost the election in a mudslide!”