It turns out Armageddon is good for business. A source close to President-elect Donald Trump admitted today that Trump’s tweet touting a renewed worldwide nuclear arms race isn’t military posturing as much as it is a gambit to drive up the price of real estate. The source assured thefloydspin Trump won’t start a nuclear war unless he is faced with no other option.
“Look, Mr. Trump understands the seriousness of global thermonuclear war. Millions would lose their lives. But on the bright side, millions more would be left homeless. As a Businesspresident, Mr. Trump knows the silver lining to a horrible, nightmarish, apocalyptic tragedy is a rise in real estate prices like you wouldn’t believe! Of course, prices could go up on their own. The question is, can they go up enough? And the answer is nope, definitely not.”
The source dismissed the notion that the downside of a nuclear conflagration far outweighs the benefits.
“Get real! The people of Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania wanted to fix Washington so they picked a guy with no government experience, no concern for his fellow man and absolutely no self-control. Well, that’s what they got. Now get ready for a real estate BOOM!!!”