Trump to Deport Native Americans

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Actual Photo of a “Native American Terrorist”

“President” Trump thinks Native Americans have overstayed their welcome. On the heels of the highly controversial refugee ban he imposed late last week, Trump signed an executive order today calling for the deportation of all Native Americans, saying the action was necessary because Native Americans, unlike real Americans, hate John Wayne.

“Look, everybody knows Indians hate John Wayne. I saw a terrific movie last week where a bunch of Indians were trying to kill John Wayne! It was a movie but it seemed very real. These native terrorists were riding horses and shooting arrows and they were very angry for no reason. What did John Wayne ever do to them? They have got to go! Of course, their casinos can stay.”

Reaction from Native American groups was swift. Terry Whitefeather of the Native American Action Council told thefloydspin that while Trump’s move had angered Native Americans, it wasn’t a surprise.

“We saw this coming. The sad reality is that if this country had done a little more extreme vetting back in November, we wouldn’t have a knucklehead in the White House who thinks all Native Americans hate John Wayne. Personally, I have no problem with John Wayne. Say what you will about the man, he played characters who believed in honesty, integrity and fair play. Mr. Trump is more like Bruce Dern’s character, Long Hair, from The Cowboys. But at least Long Hair was honest about being a dick.”

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