Trumps Phone Call With Australian Leader Revealed

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Actual Photo of an Australian Skier

Thefloydspin has obtained a partial transcript of the phone call that took place last Saturday between “President” Trump and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. The transcript reveals much about how the new American “president” will approach relationships with U.S. allies.

Trump: ‘Malcolm.’ That’s a girl’s name, right?

Turnbull: No, Mr. President, it is my-

Trump: I’m a busy man, Michael.

Turnbull: Malcolm…

Trump: So let’s get to the point. I creamed Hillary in November. I won by over a billion-

Turnbull: Mr.President, if we could-

Trump: And a billion is more than twice as much as a three million. The people love me. My immigration order is very popular. Very popular. Australia. You must be a skier. Are you a skier, Mitchell?

Turnbull: You’re thinking of Austria, Mr. President. But on the subject of immigration…

Trump: That was the worst deal ever Obama made. No way we’re taking in two thousand of your criminals, your rapists… and I assume some of them are skiers…

Turnbull: That’s Austria, Mr. President.

Trump: Right, Marvin. Did you know I’m the first Republican to win Michigan since it became a state in 1772?

Turnbull: Very impressive, Mr. President. Mr. President?

Trump: And I’m very big in Russia. Very big.

Turnbull: Mr. President, this isn’t an…

Trump: What’s that, Mary?

Turnbull: It’s not an act. This is-

Trump: Isn’t there somebody famous from Australia?

Turnbull: This is who you are. This is who you really are.

Trump: I know, Hitler! Hitler was born in Australia.

Turnbull: God help us.

Trump: I’m very smart.

 

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