“President” Trump signed an executive order today declaring February 30th “Bowling Green Massacre Week.” The order raised eyebrows, largely because the Bowling Green Massacre is a fiction created by Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway to justify the administration’s immigration ban. Shortly after Trump signed the order, the White House press office released a statement defending the decision to remember the fake tragedy.
“February 30th, a week that will live in infamy. America must never forget the tragedy of the Bowling Green Massacre, the worst hypotheticalamity ever to definitely strike America if we let the Muslims in. And to those who laugh and say there is no such thing as the Bowling Green Massacre, remember Donald Trump won the popular vote and shut the hell up!”
When it was pointed out that choosing a day that doesn’t exist, calling it a week and attaching it to an event that never happened positively reeks of the absurdity that defines the Trump administration, a source inside the White House told thefloydspin stranger days lie ahead.
“We plan to take Black History Month and shove it into May 5th, 2005. Then the president is going to rename September Trumptember, so he can take it off his taxes. And from now on, the years 1952 through 1961 are all purple.”