Kellyanne Conway Shares a Brain with Trump

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Actual Photo of the Adorable Face Kellyanne Conway Wants to Slap

Kellyanne Conway, counselor to “President” Donald Trump, told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos today that she speaks for the “President,” his message is her message, and the two of them are of one mind, which explains why she has absolutely no idea what the hell is going on in the White House.

“Our thought processes are intertwined. It’s like if you add my brain plus his brain, you end up with one brain. Between us, we have one brain. Spooky! If the President gets a hankering for a ham sandwich, I get a hankering to kill a pig. If he feels like slapping tariffs on Mexican imports, I feel like slapping Antonio Banderas. If he gets the urge to drink a gallon of Kool Aid, I’m probably going to get in a sugar-fueled Twitter tiff with Jake Tapper and pee my pants. And if he’s thinking about firing Michael Flynn, naturally  I’m going on MSNBC to tell the world the President has full confidence in his National Security Adviser.”

When, Stephanopoulos told Conway that Antonio Banderas was born in Spain and that she and Trump didn’t appear to be on the same page vis a vis Michael Flynn, Conway grew visibly agitated.

“F**K YOU, STEPHANOPOULOS!!! I work in the White House! Have you ever worked in the White House? Well, have you? Wait… wait just one … ahhhh, that’s better. Look what you made me do. Get yourself a mop, Georgie boy. I’m not cleaning that up.

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