Coming Soon: Tell-All Pamphlets on the Trump Presidency

Actual Photo of the Parasite Eating Trump’s Brain

Thefloydspin has learned that several senior White House officials have signed six figure pamphlet deals in hopes of cashing in before “President” Trump goes down in flames, something that could happen any day now. A source inside the White House told thefloydspin the speed with which people close to Trump are gearing up for their post-government careers shouldn’t surprise anybody.

“It’s like rats leaving a sinking ship, except these rats are writing tell-all pamphlets. That’s right, pamphlets, not books. Trump hasn’t been in office long enough for tell-all books and most of these guys struggle to string two sentences together, so I guess brevity is the soul of half-wit. It says something about capitalism that you can throw together ten pages of small words, double spaced, and get paid a million bucks. And mark my words, half of those pages are going to be illustrations! God bless America.”

That’s not to say the first (and possibly last) days of the Trump administration haven’t been eventful.

“Russian influence, the Bowling Green Massacre, the clone thing, the pentagram shaped mole on Jared Kushner’s ass, the parasite eating away at Trump’s brain – believe me, there’s plenty to write about.”

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