Boris Badenov has been named “President” Donald Trump’s new National Security Adviser. The announcement, which comes on the heels of the resignation of retired General and big fat liar Michael Flynn, invites criticism from those who say Trump is too cozy with Russia. Press secretary Sean Spicer released a sharply worded statement disputing that criticism.
“Mr. Badenov will make a terrific National Security Adviser and he’s totally not Russian! Any idiot can tell you Boris Badenov is a Soviet spy! Not Russian! Anybody who says he’s Russian is trying to cover up the fact that Hillary Clinton would have lost the popular vote if illegal African-‘Americans’ and Mexican-‘Americans’ and Educated-‘Americans’ hadn’t illegally cast billions of illegal votes. So, to sum up, nobody else wanted the job!”
Badenov told thefloydspin he will take quick, decisive action to shore up national security.
“First, I use drone to blow up moose and squirrel. Next, I find loophole in travel ban to let sexy spy and kinky wife Natasha Fatale to return to her little studmufski. Then I quit NATO, bring back pencil mustache, annex Canada and tap phone of Vice-President Pence. Only in America can scheming, power hungry, two-dimensional character get chance to shape whole entire world. And I am thrilled to work for him!”