Boris Badenov Resigns!

Actual Photo of the Sweden Massacre Mastermind

That didn’t take long. After just two days on the job, Boris Badenov resigned his position as “President” Donald Trump’s National Security Adviser today, citing clashes with senior White House staff. In an exclusive interview with thefloydspin, Badenov, who stirred controversy when he announced his intention to use drones to get rid of Rocky J. Squirrel and his associate, Bullwinkle Moose, expressed regret that he would not have a chance to bring his unique perspective to the Security Council.

“Steve Bannon! I tell him first priority we must destroy moose and squirrel but he say no, first we must find clever Presidents’ Day gift for Vladimir Putin. He say, ‘Which is better, chocolate wrapped in state secrets or copy of nuclear launch codes and box set of Game of Thrones on Blue-ray, season two?’ I tell him Putin is big a-hole! I remember Putin from KGB. We vote him most likely to poison co-worker in KGB cafeteria. At lunchtime in KGB cafeteria, nobody sit with that guy!”

Badenov alluded to another, more personal issue that may have contributed to his resignation.

“Trump tell me sexy wife and kinky spy Natasha Fatale not okay to come into country under new immigration ban because she is mastermind behind fake terrorist attack in Sweden. Then he brag for twenty minutes about winning electoral college. Oh boy! And they say I am cartoon character!”

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