Trump Says Obamacare Covers Very Few People

Actual Photo of Gus

Donald Trump isn’t letting the facts get in the way of repealing Obamacare. Speaking this morning at CPAC, the annual gathering of conservatives eager to sell their souls for a taste of sweet sweet power, the “President” labeled Obamacare a failure because “very few people” are covered under the law. When he was asked to square that assertion with the fact that 20 million Americans have gained coverage, Trump clarified his statement.

“If you look at the numbers, and I have because I’m very smart, and you add in the people who are insured and then subtract the people who, when you multiply, the people who, and I’m talking about just the people who have, also, very, very many people when you actually look at how many of those, and then you divide that number by, you know, so, in conclusion, very very smart.”

Desperate to make sense of Trump’s remarks, thefloydspin barbequed a sacrificial free range chicken named Gus to conjure up Trump’s chief political strategist, Steve Bannon. Bannon had no trouble explaining what Trump meant by “very few people.”

“Rich white people. Hey, is that Gus I smell?”

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