Trump to Build a Roof and Make Luxembourg Pay for It

Actual Photo of a Red Breasted Sap Sucker Plotting Against America

It turns out the wall is only the beginning. Press secretary Sean Spicer confirmed today that “President” Trump will sign an executive order calling for a big beautiful roof to be built over the United States. According to Spicer, the roof will keep America safe and it will be paid for by Luxembourg. Spicer told thefloydspin the roof will be an integral part of Trump’s comprehensive immigration plan.

“The president knows that deporting the Statue of Liberty and building a wall are critical first steps, but the job won’t be complete until we build a roof. When the wall is finished, illegal aliens will still try to come in by air, using catapults, hot air balloons, hang gliders, jet packs, human cannonball cannons, ginormous giant slingshots and massive flocks of red breasted sap suckers tied to lawn chairs with bungee cords, all flapping together to suck the sap out of the American way of life. We can only stop this airborne human tidal wave from washing up on our shores from the air if we build the roof and make Luxembourg pay for it.”

Spicer was asked why Luxembourg should be expected to pay for the roof.

“Simple. We’ve got a pool going in the White House for the country we piss off next. Steve Bannon just won fifty bucks.”

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