Thanks, Obama! “President” Donald Trump revealed today that in addition to tapping the phones at Trump Tower, former President Obama is now tapping Trump’s mind. Trump spoke with thefloydspin via carrier pigeon because he considers direct communication a security threat and because he likes the sound carrier pigeons make when you stroke their tail feathers.
“This is bigger than Watergate, McCarthyism and the fake Sun fake landing the government has been covering up since the 1960’s! Obama is trying to distract attention from his sad, failed presidency by taping (sic) my big beautiful mind and telling everybody what I’m thinking before Steve Bannon can tell me it’s okay to think what I think I’m thinking. I demand a congressional investigation into Obama’s sic (sic) illegal mind taping (sic) of myy (sic) mind! At least I think I do, I think. I’ll have to get back to you on that.”
A spokesman for the former president confirmed that Obama is indeed tapping Trump’s mind.
“Sure, President Obama has been tapping Trump’s mind since the inauguration. The former president considers it his patriotic duty as the Imperial Leader of the Deep State. Trust me, he’d rather be doing other things. Every time he steps into that mental house of horrors he comes away with a stomach ache and an overwhelming urge to land on the Sun again.”