Scott Pruitt Debunks Stupid Science

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The Dress Is Purple

EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt has no idea what is causing global warming, but he’s pretty sure it’s not humans. Pruitt tells thefloydspin scientists are spreading fake science when they claim global warming is the result of the gazillions of tons of carbon dioxide humans annually release into the atmosphere.

“Look, I’m no scientist and I don’t know anything about science. I flunked every science class I ever took. In 7th grade, my science teacher, Mrs. Brink, actually tried to bash me over the head with a model of an atom which, by the way, no such thing as an atom. Look at me now, Mrs. Brink! Ha! I’m the frigging head of the frigging Environmental Eradication Agency! Also, the world is oval, unicorns are real and the dress is purple. The point is my unique, clear-eyed perspective on science allows me to come to the climate change debate with a mind unencumbered by facts and data and science, which is why I can state unequivocally that all scientists who disagree with me are stupid.”

Pruitt tried to cast doubt on the very existence of global warming.

“I’m constantly checking the weather report in all the cold places in the world and all those places are cold. So I say the planet is not warming up. It’s actually getting colder. Especially at night.”

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