Trump Lowers Border Wall to Leprechaun Size

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Actual Photo of a Leprechaun Stealing Three of our White Women

Steve Bannon is lowering expectations for Donald Trump’s big beautiful wall. Now, instead¬†of taking 12 to 18 months to build a $15 to $25 billion dollar, twenty-five foot tall concrete and steel barrier along the entire 2,000 mile U.S. – Mexico border, Bannon says the “President” has given the go ahead for construction of a 5 and a half foot tall, $425 thousand dollar chicken wire fence to be built along the border separating the U.S. from the end of the rainbow. Best of all, the fence¬†will be finished by this Friday. Bannon tells thefloydspin the fence, while less than Trump had hoped for, will serve a vital purpose.

“No more leprechauns! Leprechauns are pouring across the border into our country and they’re rapists and they’re criminals and some, I assume are good little people, but show me one leprechaun who has ever let go of his pot of gold. They’re greedy, they’re magical, they’re charming, they’re incredibly well endowed and they’re coming for our white women.”

Bannon points to his personal experience with leprechauns as justification for the fence.

“Don’t be fooled, leprechauns pretend to be mischievous imps but if you believe that, you haven’t spent ten minutes in a room with Paul Ryan. Leprechauns are monsters whose understanding of the inner workings of the Federal bureaucracy makes them extremely dangerous to anyone who wants to follow their dream to the end of a rainbow. They’re also bad for anyone who wants to hollow out the Federal bureaucracy. And yes, technically Paul Ryan’s not a leprechaun. Hey, technically Obama’s wasn’t Kenyan, so…”

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