Trump to Donate Kidney to Toys for Tots

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Actual Photo of the Kid Who Gets Trump’s Kidney

The White House announced today that “President” Trump will donate a kidney to Toys for Tots. According to administration spokesman Sean Spicer, Trump wants to find a way to make a difference in people’s lives that doesn’t involve learning facts or working with Congress. Shortly after making the announcement, the White House press office scrambled to clarify the identity of the kidney’s owner.

“There has been speculation in the fake news media that the kidney the president will donate will not be his own. Nothing could be further from the truth. The president owns the kidney fair and square and he has the bill of sale to prove it. The president paid a fair black market price for the kidney, which is legal because it came from a black person. Also, this transaction is in no way racist because the President of the United States is, by definition, not a racist. For the record, the kidney the president got from Congressman Nunes last week will remain the property of the president and will not be donated to Toys for Tots.”

Spicer was asked why Toys for Tots would want a donated kidney.

“What do we care? It’s tax deductible.”

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