White House Secret Service agents had to revive Sarah Palin yesterday, moments after Palin had posed for a picture in the Oval Office with “President” Trump. According to a senior administration source, Palin passed out when she mistook a portrait of former first lady Hillary Clinton for a mirror.
“Palin was hanging out with Ted Nugent and Kid Rock, comparing tattoos and joking about Armageddon, when she stopped in front of the Clinton portrait, mumbled something about ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall…’, and the next thing you know, she let out a little whimper and collapsed. I’m pretty sure she peed her pants. Well, there she was, drooling on the carpet, when Ted Nugent rushed over to give her mouth to mouth, only he missed her mouth by a country mile, if you know what I mean.”
Luckily the Secret Service was taking a break from guarding the leader of the free world.
“A couple of agents posing for selfies with Kid Rock quickly put on latex gloves and pried Nugent off Palin. They resuscitated her using standard Secret Service procedure, an emergency shot of bourbon and a taser chaser. Palin came to with a start, shouting, ‘I’m pretty, Todd! I’m pretty! Oh God, tell me I’m pretty!’ The whole incident was weird and super scary. I guess Mrs. Palin really really wants to be the fairest of them all.”