Trump Dumps on Desk, Jeffrey Lord Defends It

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Actual Photo of Trump Tower

Anderson Cooper was right. Donald Trump really could take a dump on his desk in the Oval Office and Jeffrey Lord really would defend it. That is exactly what happened. Minutes before the “President” departed for his trip abroad, Trump pooped on his desk. A source inside the White House told thefloydspin Trump wanted to make sure nobody touched his stuff while he was away embarrassing the United States on the world stage.

“He’s a little obsessive compulsive. If he comes back and finds anything out of place, he’ll go ballistic. I mean literally ballistic. That’s why Mattis keeps him away from the nuclear football. One ink pen pointed east when it should be facing west and North Korea gets turned into a glowing pile of ash, rubble and singed dim sum.”

Thefloydspin spoke with Jeffrey Lord about Trump’s scatological proclivities.

“I don’t know what the big deal is. Yes, Donald Trump poops outside the box. Americans love that about him. They elected him president because they wanted him to leave his permanent mark in Washington.”

Thefloydspin’s White House source agreed with Lord.

“It’s permanent all right. I’m not cleaning that up!”

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