Bare-Chested Putin Attended Meeting with Trump Jr.

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Actual Photo of the Head Custodian Commuting to His Job at Trump Tower

Thefloydspin has learned that Russian President Vladimir Putin participated in the meeting between Donald Trump, Jr. and a Russian government lawyer. In an email, Trump’s attorney, Alan Futerfas, confirmed Putin’s presence at the meeting but insisted his client didn’t know who Putin was.

“It’s a simple case of mistaken identity. Donald Trump Jr. thought Mr. Putin was the head custodian at Trump Tower. When Donald entered the room, he saw a bare chested Putin digging through the waste basket, so he naturally assumed this guy couldn’t afford a shirt and was looking for spare change and aluminum cans. The Trumps don’t pay their help much so that story checks out.”

Minutes later, Futerfas followed up with another email meant to set the record straight about his first email.

“In retrospect, my client would have done things differently if he had known he was meeting with the President of Russia to discuss Russian baby adoptions, which is all that was discussed, unless somebody secretly recorded this meeting, in which case please delete that first email I sent. Please delete this email, too, so there will be no email record of this email about that email I definitely didn’t send about something that may or may not have been discussed, which if it was, it wasn’t, in a meeting which may or may not have happened, which if it did, it didn’t. Shift delete.”

More on this story as it develops, which it will.

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