Breaking News: Sean Spicer Used to Be Press Secretary!

Actual Photo of Sean Spicer

Thefloydspin has learned that Sean Spicer used to be the White House press secretary, a stunning revelation that comes on the heels of the stunning revelation that Sean Spicer has resigned his position as the White House press secretary. A source close to the “president” says news of Spicer’s previously undisclosed role comes as a complete surprise.

“Until now, I thought he was just another liar. Hell, that describes the entire Administration, from the vice-president to cabinet secretaries to the shirtless guy who empties the waste baskets. We’re all liars. There are two things the president demands from his team: absolute loyalty and utter contempt for the truth. You’d think someone would tell the president those two don’t go together. Of course, that would be a lie. Unless I’m lying to you right now. Which I am. Not. Not not. Not not not not not. Mind blowing, huh?”

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