NRA Spokeswoman Fires Away at Critics

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NRA Spokeswoman Dana “Dead-eye” Loesch 

National Rifle Association spokeswoman Dana “Dead-eye” Loesch shot several holes in the argument for banning semiautomatic rifles yesterday at a press conference marred by the accidental shooting of twenty-nine reporters.

“Some people say let’s keep guns out of the hands of crazy people who want to shoot people who don’t have guns because crazy people with guns shoot more people who don’t have guns than crazy people who don’t have guns. I say who are these crazy people who don’t have guns? Don’t they know there are a bunch of crazy people running around with guns? This is America, not some crazy third world country where they take guns away from crazy people and force them to shoot people with their bare hands. Can you imagine me shooting someone with my bare hands. Not with these nails! Crazy! That’s why I carry this Bushmaster XM-15. It’s sleek, it’s stylish and it has a hair trigger. Don’t worry, it’s loaded.

A GoFundMe has been set up to cover medical expenses.

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