Another Cohen-Trump Phone Tape Surfaces

Capture
Maria Butina aims high.

Vladimir Putin isn’t the only sexy Russian Donald Trump has the hots for. The New York Times is reporting the existence of a taped July 18th phone call between Michael Cohen and “President” Trump. This time the conversation is about hush money Cohen paid to Russian spy Maria Butina. Thefloydspin obtained a copy of the tape by having deep meaningful sex with a Hungarian hacker who obtained his copy by having wild macaroni salad sex with a North Korean hacker who obtained her copy by having perfunctory soul crushing sex with Rudy Giuliani.

Trump: Michael, it’s Donald.

Cohen: Mr. President. Good morning, sir. Let the record reflect I’m speaking to President Trump.

Trump: You’re not recording this, are you?

Cohen: Nope. Can you speak up, sir?

Trump: Sure. Hey, you sent the money to Bootie, right?

Cohen: Bootie?

Trump: That’s my code name for Maria.

Cohen: Speak up, sir.

Trump: Maria. Maria Butina. Pale skin. Always asking for the nuclear codes. Pert little-

Cohen: Got it. The money is in her account. You, uh, didn’t give her the codes, did you sir?

Trump: Don’t worry, it’s Obama’s fault. Hey, you’ve got this handled, right? You don’t think Bootie would cut a deal with Mueller? I guess she couldn’t hurt me too bad. She’s maybe a spy but it’s not like she’s a Playboy model or a porn star or a giraffe. Remember that giraffe? That was a beautiful night, huh?

Cohen: Trust me, she’s the least of your worries.

Trump: I miss that giraffe.

Cohen: Yes, sir.

Trump: I always feel better after we talk.

Cohen: Me too, sir.

 

 

 

 

 

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